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Thursday, 18 March 2010

  • So What Happened?

    Been going through a lot lately. At a reminder of a dear friend, I re-read my blog. And there I thought that all my time in T.O. was a waste... when I had such a great time building a community of friends here. I miss myself. I missed my JC-self. I have known that all the time. That my JC-time was unparalleled in terms of laughter and fun. But now I find that I missed my early days in T.O. too. The times when I found warmth in this bloody cold climate. The times when I made a life for myself and built a community of friends so we were not alone.

    What happened WT? When I struggled to define myself with things that were important and consequential to life, I also cut out a lot of things that I thought were not good for me. Things that I would love doing, but complain doing. Like TSFF, helping out with MSSA events, hosting parties and BBQs for friends and colleagues. Like going out and enjoying time well wasted. Eventually I was too tired for things, too busy for people and too old for silliness. And eventually I was weighed down with bills and rent, treasurer positions and overtime at work. I have become very un-lovable to myself.

    What happened WT?

    What happened WT?

    What happened WT?

    Do something about it. I miss me.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

  • NYC Day 0

    So what does a girl do in NYC when she's all alone and waiting for dinner?

    1. Window shop on the Fifth Ave
    2. Pretend to be a student at the New York Public Library

    Though I've accumulated an array of pretty pictures of the windows on Fifth Ave, I find number 2 much easier to do. First, I fit perfectly into the demographics: twenties, studious looking, (fine call me nerdy). Second, and more importantly, I can't, for one more minute, pretend to be interested in overpriced brand name items.

    So here I am in the public library, being quiet and you know, studious. It's been a long day. The minutes stretch like the evening shadows when you are alone I guess. And then it's night time. And they just keep stretching.

    Here are some random thoughts...

    Best thing about New York: the overcrowded towering buildings. They make me feel like I could get lost in the jungle of concrete and lights.

    Worst thing: human traffic. I have no problem with throngs of people on the streets, but these people cross the roads whenever they see a gap between cars; nevermind the traffic lights. No wonder drivers hate New York. These swarms of people slipping through the cracks terrify me.


    Genie, I wish for a friend to play with!

Saturday, 14 November 2009

  • Back

    First of all, *blows dust from the webpages of my blog* it's been some time. So this Christmas holidays, I'm going to spend some time documenting some of the stuff that I should have over the summer and throughout fall.

    I hate being away from home. My grandpa recently passed away. and though it's expected since his two strokes and colon cancer, though it's a natural course in life, I can't help but feel not just sad, but also helpless. Since I can't help out at home, I can't hold my mother's hand through this, and I can't really contribute when he was alive and now when he is not.

    I know it's not because "I can't". We make many choices in life, and staying in Toronto was mine. I knew I was going to miss out, and to a certain extent, I think of it as shrinking from the responsibilities at home. Now that I think back, was it worth it? Was it?

    The tears were shed, the emotions spent, I'm back on my two feet. There was a reason why I chose to stay here, and I going to make its own worth.

Thursday, 25 June 2009

  • Take Me Out to the Ball Game


    Watched a Blue Jays game (and even bought a cap!) It was an alright game, with the Blue Jays winning of course. It was a beautiful 20 degrees day with a blue sky, white clouds. We sat in the Sky Dome (or Rogers Centre) with the dome open, looking directly at the group of condos in which we live.

    Sitting next to me was an anti-baseball girl, who thinks that baseball is not really a sport. Before any baseball fans hit me with any hate comments or baseball bats, I don't share the same view. Unenthusiastic about the sport as I am, I have the decency to call it a sport. The funny thing was her date was so into the game, sharing with her the finer points in the game, and then intently watching every move in the diamond that he didn't realize when she was turned from him, she was condemning the same sport he so ardently loves.

    Well, having discussed this with Nicki a Baseball Fan, we both agreed that baseball is a game very different from others. Of course it is going to sound wonderful if Nicki were to start on discussing baseball, wearing her Blue Jays jersey and all, well, maybe she has something to say on top of this, maybe she doesn't... so here goes: While the goals in soccer and basketball are very clear (get the ball into the net! get it through the hoop!) that of baseball is not as clear. (hit the ball FAR... at the same time, get the as many ppl as possible to run 1 round through the 3 bases to the home base.. at the same time, no running when .... sorry Eric, this is as far as I can listen to myself explain it. Believe me, I have come a long way, thanks to Nicki and Calvin) It is a game that is governed by the rules. The rules make up the game, whereas in other ball games, rules are usually to contain the game, to prevent players from fouling and getting hurt. WIth a simple straightforward goal and just enough rules to ensure a civilized game, these sports allow room for extra physical creativity on the field/court for the atheletes. How beautiful is a dunk? Or a pass? Or a smack in volleyball? Or a dribble? (or hot Italian men in shorts ;) Just kidding!!) The less complicated structure makes is easier for spectators to enjoy the game on different levels.

    One day .. one day I will discover the beauty of baseball (and American football, and maybe curling?) and I will blog about it. Until then, I will still go for the games, them being so close to my apt and selling such great fries and being such great fun. In fact it was such fun that I was a slightly disappointed it ended abruptly.... but at least when it did, unlike the Baseball Hater, I didn't ask "Is the game over?"

Sunday, 31 May 2009

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